"Thinking about giving up? Ill give you 2 options, its either a no or a no. As simple as that"
Training is intensifying steadily. Can see improvements. Week 1, my chin ups was a pathethic 1. The way they do chin ups in SOC isnt like HTA. SOC is military style, full-flexed. That means you ve gotta hang with your arms fully extended. We were so used to HTA's half-extended, that the weaker few in the troop were struggling each time we had to hit the bars.
Week 2, this week, ive hit 4. Which is good and not good at the same time. Each time we dont reach 10, its 50 push ups with crunches in between sets. Recently, ive tried out and Im happy that ive got the strength to do 10kg sand bag push ups. No choice. Ive got to work doubly hard. I want that red berret. Running with sand bags are also a new experience for me. For a 3km route, it felt as though im running forever with my lungs being squeezed tightly. Managed to pull through. After the run, my body felt so light that, i feel like i could fly. haha.. Chin ups never felt so easy after that run.
I must say.. the brutal finale for this week's training was running, in a CBRN suit. Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear suit. Black in colour, it is basically a suit that provides protection against those four classes that ive mentioned on top. Also with a gas mask. Go google for the picture. We were time tested. It had to be donned under 12 mins. 3 tries, and almost all of us got under 11. We had to. The run was supposed to condition us to the suit and at the same time, under strenous condition. During it, i feel as though i couldnt take in enough oxygen. I was panicking but continued nonetheless. At the end, i found out that my cannister (an air filtration thingy) could have been faulty. Took in air like a horse. Perspired like fuck, all of us, tired as hell. While all of this are obviously physical torture, mental endurance was tested all the time. All the time. Instructors kept hawking at us..
It felt as though im on the edge of a cliff, dangling, pacing over the decision in my head to let go or keep holding on.. really..
Lastly, im dissapointed at myself. For not being able to hold my fast at times. Sometimes, trying to hydrate by wetting the head isnt enough. So kudos to my strong malay warriors.
You may not believe it, think that im just putting this down for the sake of it but really, yt, thank you for your smile. Its like a hand that pulls me up from that damn cliff.
6 weeks to go.