it has always been like this. Each and every fucking time. I so used to failing, being numb at the same time. That i always decide to give up. To fucking write nonsense. Im considering not to even go for it. But what will happen if i dont? What will happen later in the future? I know, i only have myself to blame for whatever the outcome of whatever that i do. Its all because of this one fucking stupid thing. That i have to relive this shitty feeling.
Oh how the mighty have fallen right? Party party party, drink. Now, he's scared out of his own balls. By a freaking small thing and big at the same time. Im really stressed out. its been weeks since my last ciggarette. The need is soo strong.
im not gonna make it, again. Ive even missed one of it. I pity my mom. Somehow, i know, i can make up for this.. but, dissapointment, can they take it once more? Failing? worse yet, absent from paper?
ooohh a millions ways to lie is fucking running through my brains.
whats the fucking point of even going or trying when i didnt really studied for it? im just gonna fail anyways,
im sorry, mom. Friends, family, who feels any sorta disspointment or whatever.
fuck it.
I dont want to go. really.
Math paper..